We Know our children better!!!
We know our children better! Virat Kohli and Shikhar Dhawan don’t know about us. A few days ago, these videos and Virat and Shikhar’s tweets were trending. I decided to not post anything about it at that time. Meanwhile, I utilized this time to research on a few things about “Child Development“. First, I thought why parents hit their kids? I mean we do not tolerate even if someone else touches our child. Then, why do we hit our child? Is that the only way to make them understand or is that the only way we know? Second, what if our kids are not able to learn things as fast as other kids?
In the first case, I guess some parents assume that shouting or hitting are the only options to tame their kids. This is a totally wrong assumption. In the above video, the baby girl became anxious when her mother started hitting and shouting at her. Her brain went blank. So, after she rightly said the first time, she made a mistake later. Instead, her mother could have calmly explained the thing. I have read many articles where parents said that Shikhar Dhawan and Virat Kohli don’t know anything about our kids. We know better about them and so on.
But, although they are not yet fathers, they were kids at one point in time. And if their parents would have forced them to do something else, we wouldn’t have got the best cricket players like them. We always praise Sachin Tendulkar. And we all know about his education, but do we care? Still, we love him because although his father was a professor, he saw the talent in his son and helped him to nurture it rather than forcing him to become a typical engineer, doctor, or professor.
Now, coming to the second thought on fast learning, I would like to share one incident that occurred with my daughter Dharini. One day, she had homework to identify the difference between vegetables and fruits. I explained her once, twice, and then like everyone, I lost my patience and shouted at her. Still, she couldn’t understand my explanation and started crying. I got really upset. All her classmates could distinguish between fruits and vegetables. They could narrate a story. They could write 1 to 20 and what not. I felt like I have failed as a mother and cursed my time-consuming job.
Child Development: Biometric Test-Helps to identify how your child’s learning pattern
Later, I thought of discussing this issue with my friend who is a counsellor. He had told me about some biometric test that is quite helpful. I had ignored it at that time, but then I thought of asking him about it. When he came home, he made me realise where I was going wrong with my daughter. Dharini was the youngest in her class. That means I was comparing her with kids who are 1 year older than her. And second, I didn’t realise that although my daughter wasn’t able to write 1 to 20, she could speak out 1 to 100.
Then, I guessed that at the age of 3, that was enough. Why I couldn’t see this aspect of my child. Because I was blinded by comparison, which is not correct in the first place. Many things became clear after my daughter underwent the biometric test. Based on the results of that test, my friend told me that Dharini is more on the creative side. So, don’t expect her to be a master in maths and science, but she will be good in drawing, languages, etc. Also, if I want her to excel in other subjects, I have to use colourful charts for explaining things to her. This will help her understand things in a better way.
Later, I bought 1 chart for vegetables and 1 for fruits. Every day, after coming home, we used to learn to identify vegetables and fruits by using the charts. Also, according to her test results, she is more auditory. So, she will understand things more clearly if I read out for her and use videos and colourful charts. This made me realise how she could speak out numbers from 1 to 100. In her babysitting, they have a study hour. Before starting the studies, everyone has to speak out numbers and tables. This is how she learned, and I felt really proud.
In all these cases, I was repeating the same mistakes thinking that I know my child better. That she will be like this at one moment, then cry at other moments, and then again start playing after crying.
I guess it’s time for us to realise that we don’t know our kids. So let’s try to understand them. They may forget things in seconds because they are very young now. But, if we don’t stop it here, it will be too late. I have seen parents of teenagers who complain that my son or daughter never talks to us or discusses anything. Have you ever thought why kids stop discussing anything with parents? Because they are convinced that their parents will never understand them.
I don’t know why but we always want to control our children’s lives. We always say that our parents controlled your life. We wanted to do something else but ended up doing something totally different because our parents forced us. Do you really want to repeat the same with your kids?
I am not saying what our parents did was wrong. Control is good but up to what extent? In our family, everyone is a doctor; so, my child should also be a doctor. We are no one to decide this on their behalf. Ask them what they want to become in their life? Help them in chasing their dreams. Give them courage when they are demotivated.
Nowadays, it is very important that your kids should open up with you. If they are in trouble, you will be the first one who they can consider as the best help. In older times, people used to say that our parents were so strict, we never back answered them. But trust me, a generation has changed now. If you talk to them as a friend, they will get close to you; otherwise, they will search for this comfort outside, which can be dangerous.
Shikshnachya Aaicha Gho!!
I remember one Marathi movie titled “Shikshanachya Aaicha Gho”. In this movie, the father used to always shout at his son for not studying and playing cricket. One day, he hits him very badly but without any wrong intention. The child gets severely injured and goes into a coma. Then, he realises the problem with the education system. He keeps on asking the same question to everyone, which his son used to ask: How much is 17*7? No one could answer it in a second. But then, we expect our kids to answer this in a blink of an eye.
All kids are talented. You just have to find out what your kid is good at. You have to realise this before it’s too late.
While strolling in crossword once, I found this book. It is a really great book. Surely check out the book. I am sure it will help you.
Our kids are genius only if we trust them and not judge them