Have you told about Good & Bad touch to your kids?
Good Touch and Bad Touch. After reading and hearing about too many bad things around us. we working parents really get worried. we either keep them at babysitting or at home. but are they really safe? Well, we try to keep them in a safe place but now its time to make them stronger. I was discussing this with one of my friend who is also a Mother like me. She helped me by telling her own experience with her daughter. It’s really easy to talk about it. so let’s make our kids stronger!!
Let’s Make our kids stronger!!
Coffee and newspaper is my morning ritual. News often bang my head, coffee soothes it. The most annoying news I heard is about molesting children. What a human it is or rather what an antisocial animal can do that to a child. The not only girl child, boy child too are molested. What an epic era we are living in with full of sex addicts. Kids, women no one is spared. I want vasectomy of the culprit as a legal action for crimes like molesting and rape. This definitely calls for some concrete action from parents.
So today on a Sunday morning I am going to teach my children about sex. I had a summary ready with me. So, I will tell her about private parts, good touch and bad touch and the final self-defence or how to deal with the bad touch?
How to start?
I called my 3-year-old daughter to talk. To start the conversation, I asked her, “What do you want for lunch?” She screamed, “Pasta and bhaji Pau and some pizza”. Then there a series of dance steps with excitement. How innocent children are! I controlled the creeping anger that I hold for child molestation and thought my mother never bothered to teach me all this. A sudden realisation struck me that she never has to. I summoned some guts and said, “Do you know about your body? The legs and hands and face are open, while we cover the chest and pelvic part with clothes. These are our private parts.”
She mumbled “private…” before she throws questions of why and how I began further, “Yes. No one can touch your private parts. Only Mumma and dad if needed can touch it. Also, a doctor can touch but only in presence of Mumma.”
She screamed (my daughter seldom speaks), “Nani? Nani too can touch.” I know her. I know she can live without me but not without her dad and Nani. Being mother is a thankless job after all. Sticking to the point I asked her again, “Who all can touch your private parts” she replied loudly with high jumps, “Papa, Nani and doctor and also Mumma.” Perfect I said. Please remember this and never let anyone touch your private parts in school or anywhere. Ok.
Talk to your kids
I continued with an obvious question, “Do you like it when Papa hugs you.” She said yes and hugged her dad and sat on his lap. I further asked, “Do you like it if your Nana hugs you?” She nodded. I explained, “Those are a good touch. The touch that makes you feel good is a good touch. And if you don’t like someone touching you, it is a bad touch.”
“So what would you do if someone touches you and you don’t like”
“What happens when you touch a butterfly?”
She cheerfully answered, “it fleeew away.”
I continued, “What will happen if you go and harass a dog? It will start barking at you.”
“So what will you do if you experience a bad touch?”
After thinking for a while with a sad face she replied, “Mumma, I can’t fly or bark?”
“Obviously you can’t. But you have a power of speech. You can shout for help and you can run away to someone you trust.”
“Whom do I trust? What is trust?”
“Trust is whom you know. Alright, let’s make a safe Circle for you. You can tell the people in your safe Circle about the bad touch and ask for help. Ready?”
Help them to understand the importance
With full enthusiasm, she said yes. We made a circle on chart paper and cut it. I made two circles one for my boy who is just 11 months old. But I thought let me make it for him too.
Next, I gathered passport size picture of me, her dad and grandparents. I asked her teacher too for her passport size picture after discussing the reason. Now I stuck my and her dad and her teacher’s and Nani’s picture in my daughter’s safe Circle, while I just altered one with Nana in my son’s safe Circle. Yup the teacher’s space was left empty too.
We hung both the safe Circles in children’s room. After some days I keep reminding her about all the phenomena of sex education. We tend to forget after a certain period of time of periodical re-discussions become necessary.
After teaching the sex education I really feel more relieved. But I still dream of a world where kids are safer and live with their innocence.
About the writer:-
Shanu Shah is Blogger and Publisher at www.totaldreamer.com . She loves to pen down her thoughts and imagination to the paper. She also offers other authors and poetry writers to publish their content to her website www.totaldreamer.com. Currently, she is working on an eBook and web-series.